You ever have those weeks that everything is just going wrong? Nothing seems to go your way? You just can’t catch a break? I feel like I’m reading the script of an infomercial, but that’s exactly how I’m feeling.
As my 23rd birthday is a month away (10.15) this quote really speaks VOLUMES to me. All my life I’ve thought I had it figured out. Go to college and get a job so you can pay back all those who helped you. Better yet, prove all those people wrong that have always given you a side eye or made some smart remark about your life. Seeing my younger siblings grow up makes me feel old, but again I am only 23. I should not have to worry about what my house is going to be. I should not have to to think about kids names, the school they’ll go to, friends they’ll meet. My problem has always been planning every little detail of my life and unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to come to terms with letting things happen as they happen and to not be a stickler for perfection.
It makes me wonder why I’m not fully into my career. It makes me wonder why I went to college in the f first place. The perceived theory is that once you get a degree you automatically should have the ‘Gates of Employment’ opened to you. You should have that automatic job in the field you studied or something similar. Again, life doesn’t work that way.
Here I am working at a daycare center, trying to make ends meet, with a stack of loans. Aside from that I’ve taken on the trivial expenses of the unlimited cell phone plan, eating out with friends, and my new car. Well, I wouldn’t call the car trivial as I needed a new one as my 2000 VW Jetta had to be put to sleep. Before I further digress it makes me wonder just what am I doing with my life. A year post-graduation and I thought going back to school was what I needed to do. So here I am studying for my MBA with a specialization in Entrepreneurship.
If nothing else had made sense in my life I know that I am inspired by having something of my own. Some may call that always needing control or power, but I see it as no one knowing my vision except for me. Of course along the way I plan to collaborate with others which I have already begun to do. It’s great seeing others have a passion for what they do whether it’s the same interests as you or not.
As I am only 3 years into my 20s I can’t help but wonder and try to plan out the rest of my life, but for now I just focus on building my empire. I want to be able to publish books (fiction & self-help), a magazine, and really giving back. Aside from wanting a non-profit organization to raise awareness of lung cancer in memory of my mom, I want a one stop shop for youth and young adults to connect so that they’re not in the situation I’m in. People tell you all the time what to expect, but often the reality of life is sugar coated. I want to provide a place where people can build connections and jump start their careers and see that their is life in doing something you love and not settling for the corporate route. There’s life everywhere you turn and one should not be turned away from wanting to pursue higher education because of the fear of loans, etc.
While it’s great to think about my empire I also need to enjoy my life as there are people that have not lived to see 23 years. I cannot be more blessed and the greatest gift I could’ve ever received was creativity. To continuously make something out of nothing drives me daily. When it’s all over I want to look back and not be noticed for the amount of money, my losses, my degrees, but for me. I want to look back and know that I’ve helped people achieve their dreams as so many have helped me achieve mine. My 20s aren’t over, they’ve just begun.
I come across quotes all the time and they are the basis behind my Motivational Monday series. I know that I primarily blog music and that is what I love to do, but sharing my personal experiences is apart of the ‘Forward’ part of ‘MusicMovingForward.’ It’s beyond the music. This is growth for me. Growth for me as a person, writer, etc. I love looking back on my posts just to see how far I’ve come. I’ve come far in a lot of instances and if you look back on any of my ‘Motivational Monday’ posts and rants I share a lot about myself. I put my emotions out there because I know there’s someone who can relate. I know I’m not the only one. I used to hate being judged by others, but now I know it’s a way for others to knock me down and steer me off the path that I need to be on. It’s for others to make themselves feel better by breaking me down completely in the process. I used to be fragile and in some ways I still am. I am learning that in order for me to grow in any aspect of lie I have to always first and foremost love me and everything else will fall into place. You can’t continue to put your all into something if you’re not willing to put time in your own personal growth.
I’ve always been the one to think I’ve had it all figured out. I’ve always been the ultimate planner. A lot of that has to do with me not wanting to fail and me always wanting to have control. During my 22 years of life although I’m young I’ve experienced a lot, as have others my age. My biggest problem is always seeking validation. I seek validation from ones I love, ones who I think/thought loved me, and people I don’t even know. Throughout all this I say I’m my worst critic, but then again I’m just trying to impress others. I always want someone to like me, my work, etc. I always want to be ‘that person.’ You know, the people person, the popular one that everyone likes or at least claims to. This quote by Will Smith is spot on to situations I deal with daily in my life. I have to stop letting those that do nothing and I mean NOTHING validate my existence. I have to stop begging for love and in return love myself. There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to become a better me until I begin to love myself endlessly and tirelessly. You let a person treat you the way you allow them to. Having self love does not let that person break you. It does not let that person tear you down. You win and they lose. Their goal is to break you.
Here’s yet another quote that I love from Will Smith. I have a book filled with quotes that I love to refer to daily for a pick me up. Building on the quote above, people go out of their way to break you. I swear some people wake up and think of all the ways they can piss somebody off. People like that aren’t happy with themselves. I always hated when my grandmother said, ‘People that make you mad don’t love themselves.” I never understood it and I didn’t know why she had to be so extreme. What did love have to do with someone picking on you? What did love have to do with someone picking a fight with you?
As I’ve gotten older I start to realize that it is true. Someone who tries to break you sees something in you that’s intimidating. They’re not comfortable with themselves so they nitpick at you, tear you apart, and zone in on your flaws to break you. In reality, people like that aren’t happy within. They don’t love themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t give a crap about you and your life. There’s a difference between genuinely caring about someone and their aspirations versus trying to get close to someone just to rip them to shreds in the long run.With people like that all you can do is pray for them. It’s bigger than Karma. God will handle those who hurt you. You first have to make that step to believe he will and not feed into the craziness of others.
Thanks to all those who read this one. This is an issue I deal with daily, literally. If just one read this that makes all the difference. Until next time …
I started grad school last week (7.15) and I was extremely nervous yet excited to take the next step in making my dreams a reality. I talked all about stepping out of my comfort zone in a previous Motivational Monday titled ‘Taking Risks’ along with feeling overwhelmed in my post titled, This one is a continuation of that the only difference is that I’m one step closer. Sometimes I wake up and I just want to quit my job, not because I don’t like it, but because I want to try something different. Although when achieving your dreams it’s all about taking chances and risks, I still have to be practical because I have bills to pay. One day I’ll be able to start my empire, one day soon. Jim Carrey gave a commencement speech for Maharishi University of Management and there were so many things that stood out to me from it, here are two in particular:
So many of us choose our path our of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it.
Every time I have wanted to begin on building my empire I would get scared of the process even though I knew it wouldn’t happen over night. I intimidated myself and would psych myself out to think that I didn’t need to go after my dreams yet. I would have time. It wasn’t practical. I don’t have the money. I kept making excuses when all those excuses were just fears. Fear of failure. Fear of whatever I built not being accepted. I am 22 years old, 23 in October, and I know that I need to put my dreams into action now. It’s going to be a journey, but I can’t keep making excuses because I’m too afraid to take chances.
You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.
I love my job because I love working with kids. They’re filled with personality out of this world at such young ages. My job is what’s comfortable and although I’m content I shouldn’t just settle because it’s paying the bills. I shouldn’t have to put my dreams on hold because I’m afraid. I have NOTHING to lose. Let the journey begin.
As I start grad school tomorrow [7.15] I am extremely overwhelmed, to be honest, with everything that’s on my plate. With being a daily blogger and not having a demanding online schooling schedule I automatically felt like I would have to scale back in some aspect. Unfortunately the thing I’d have to scale back on would be my blog. Just when I though that I could work everything out I made out a schedule which just added to the feeling of being overwhelmed. Plus, let’s not even talk my social life. That wasn’t even included.
There’s no way I can scale back in my blogging because I love it so much. When concepts come effortlessly how can I stop that. School has become more of a priority than my blog, which it should, but unlike in undergrad I can handle both. I know that in undergrad I would go months without blogging because school was “in the way”. In essence I really could’ve juggled both, procrastination just got in the way.
Well it’s been a year since I graduated undergrad and I have been blogging daily for the past six months and I appreciate all the likes, feedback, etc. that I’ve gotten on my blog. I have found a way to juggle both, plus my social life.
So enough of my ranting. Here’s my top 3 tips to deal with being overwhelmed:
- Relax. Do not bombard yourself with thoughts of everything you have to do. That quickly leads to stress and by being overwhelmed by those thoughts you want to do nothing and end up making excuses for what you need to do.
- Make a schedule. When you are bombarded with those thoughts make a list, schedule, whatever you need to do to check off what you need to do. Don’t forget to prioritize!
- Take life day by day. Of course there will be days where you have more on your plate than others, but in prioritizing you’ll realize that not everything can be done in one day. Take your time.
I know I’ll end up getting overwhelmed again, but hey that’s life. Right? Just stay focused on your goals and most of all RELAX!
There’s no denying just how philosophical Tupac was. Everything he said had such a deep meaning that it made you think. I read and listen to his interviews all the time and one of the interviews that stands out to me was an interview in 1992 with MTV when he discussed not wanting to be tied to the term ‘role model’ and instead just being real. Hence why this weeks Motivational Monday is titled, ‘Role v. Real’.
“I say I don’t want to be a role model in the song, because if I let somebody put the role-model label on me, that limits me. Because look at those words, ‘role’ and ‘model.’ Both of those are fake words, to play a role and to model, that’s fake. I’m real. Being real, I drink, I hang out, I party — I do things that a 21-year-old does. And even worse, because I didn’t have a childhood, I’m reliving my childhood. I live life to its fullest, I make mistakes, but I do some stuff that some college kids wouldn’t do, because I live from my heart. I have fun. I don’t want to be a role model, I just want to be real.”
Everyone strives to be a role model because it’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, that’s what society tells you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to inspire, motivate, and influence the mind of others, but the problem comes in when you’re not staying true to yourself. The problem comes in when the term ‘role model’ casts over who you really are and you begin to live a double life. One is the role model in which you displayed and then the one of who you really are. The real you would never get the chance to shine as you are keeping up the facade of the role model everyone expects you to be.
It all comes down to never diminishing who you are and your attributes to continuously please others. You cannot be an inspiration to others if you cannot stay true to yourself. I never thought of the words ‘role’ and ‘model’ being fake until I heard this interview. This is what I’m talking about as far as thinking deeper into what Tupac was saying. If you cannot stay true to yourself, how are you supposed to tell someone to do the same? There are a lot of role models and then there are people that are just real.
I want to strive to be me. If I help and inspire someone along the way fine. In becoming a role model you end up conforming to the expectations of others instead of your own. Work on continuously becoming a better you. All those inspired by you will then follow suit.
I came across this quote today while doing my daily scroll of instagram. I absolutely love June Ambrose and aside from the latest trends and her family, she’s always posting motivational tidbits.
This one specifically spoke to me as I am on a journey to figure out exactly what I want to do with life or at least have craft some type of plan. Friday will be a year since I’ve graduated college and I can’t say that I’m where I want to be in life. I mean I didn’t expect to launch right into my career, but at this point I’m not sure exactly what I want my career to be. What I do know is that it will involve writing.
I will do whatever it takes to take my writing career to the next level. I will do whatever it takes find different platforms to share my personal life experiences. I have found my purpose, now it’s time to put the plan into action!
It’s been over two months since I’ve written a ‘Motivational Monday’ and that’s simply because I haven’t been inspired. I’ve been going through these times where I’m so passionate about blogging then I don’t have that fire that I once had. It might be hard to tell being that I blog everyday, but sometimes the whole blogging every day can seem a bit overwhelming.
I’ve gotten to the point where I’m tired of making excuses for what I could be doing versus my current situation. It’s been a year past graduation and it’s time for me to let that crutch go. The grace period is over. It’s time for me to speak my life into existence and stop waiting for opportunities to be handed to me instead I shall make my own. The first step was in working endlessly and tirelessly on my blog. I can stay up for hours on end past my ‘midnight bedtime’ knowing I have a minimum wage 9-5 to work. Reality is, I can’t complain that I have a job. Instead I continue to grind and make my dreams come true in other ways. This is just a step.
It’s all about speaking your life into existence. Stop thinking in your mind what you want to do and just say it. Do not second guess yourself with the “I hope”, “I wish”, “I think, “I might” and start every day with “I WILL!” There’s no time limit on when it will happen; it’s all about taking steps to get it done. Write it down every single day until you do it. Set the bar high. The sky is the absolute limit. You never know what you can and cannot do if you do not try. What is there really to lose? We only have one life to live and it’s time to make the best of it.
I have to take my own advice and speak my life and my aspirations into existence.
- “I WILL get my dream job.”
- “I WILL get a new car.”
- “I WILL take MusicMovingForward to the next level.”
- “I WILL figure out how to make an AWESOME media kit.”
- “I WILL step out of my comfort zone and network more with others.”
That’s just some of the things on my list of to-do’s that I tend to second guess myself about. I’m tired of drowning myself in my thoughts of if’s and maybe’s. I’m tired of not believing in myself yet expecting someone else to do it for me. I’m tired of looking at the success of others and being jealous. We all have the same 24 hours in the day. Make the best of it. Take risks, take those crazy chances, live. Continue to say “I WILL…” and whatever you speak into existence will eventually happen. It might seem crazy and might not happen on your time, but greatness begins with confidence. What better way to boost that than with “I WILL”.
As a semi-recent graduate and quickly being thrown into the real world, I have learned to downsize and prioritize. It isn’t easy and it wasn’t easy at first, but I am trying my hardest to make sense of my expenses and do what I need to do to manage of of the minimum wage salary I acquire bi-weekly.
I have acquired bills such as loans, hospital bills, and credit card bills. On top of that I have rent, cell phone and cable bill plus car insurance and other monthly expenses such as groceries and car maintenance. I have learned to put money away from each check in case of emergencies. I never know what I might need my savings for, but from previous experiences it’s always good to have a cushion on hand.
I have been reading constantly on how to knock down my expenses and I’ve begun to do so the only way I know how. I have to pay the minimal on my hospital and credit card bills. I have to pay what I can just to keep from getting hounded by bill collectors. At this point I know they won’t get paid off overnight. I know that it’s going to take time. I also know that I can’t go out shopping like I used to in college because I have more responsibility. With more responsibility comes more prioritizing. Bills have to be at the top of the list. If you have the money to blow, great for you. Me on the other hand, I’ve learned to be resourceful and I have a lot more learning to do.
I’m not perfect and every now and then I do treat myself to some makeup (a new guilty pleasure) or dinner with friends. I have not stopped my life because of the expenses I have, but I do save in my Savings and my own little personal stash so that I can buy some materialistic possession or go hang out with friends. It’s not easy, but it’s something that I’m learning and I know one day I’ll be in the career I want and I’ll be able to pay more and do more with the money I earn.
Everyone has different priorities. It’s all about prioritizing not so much what makes sense but from what’s the biggest priority and breaking it down from there. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there are priorities. In the midst of making these lists of priorities always make time for yourself. Never work, work, work to pay off bills. The bills will be there whether you’re here or not. Enjoy life, but don’t be so frivolous that you dig yourself into a financial hole that you can’t get out of.
Self respect, self worth, and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for value.
With it being Valentine’s Day week I can’t get over all the girls that wish to be in relationships and I admire those who are fine being alone. I know that might sound crazy, but that’s just how I feel. This is for guys as well. I feel that there is someone out there for everybody regardless of what people might think of you. There is someone out there for you and yes it may take time to find that person; days, months, years, etc. To truly be happy and to give yourself to someone else you have to be confident in you are and be true and honest with yourself. Never settle and do not automatically change who you are for another person. Granted when you’re in a relationship it’s filled with compromise every now and then, but when the ‘love’ becomes unhealthy you lose sight of who you are. Before jumping into anything, with anyone, find who you are as a person. Mr. or Mrs. Right will always be waiting.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned for being in a relationship since high school was to not be so dependent on my boyfriend and to focus on myself and other aspirations. That did not necessarily mean a break, but it meant always taking time for me and finding who I really am. You grow a lot from high school and real, true friends always stick along for the journey without judgement, but do offer constructive criticism. It’s refreshing to be with someone that respects my values and does not force anything on me. For someone to stick around and wait while I pursued my dreams and continue to pursue is a great feeling. I guess I found my prince charming in high school and that does not go to say the relationship is perfect. What I have learned over the course of 8 years was to focus on me and if Mr. Right was really Mr. Right he’ll be there when I become a better person. For me it was all about building a friendship and in building a friendship I learned about myself. It’s an everyday journey and I have a long way to go. I just always tell people don’t lose yourself to keep someone else in your life. If they’re meant to be there they will stay for the long haul.