It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday (finish 2 Chainz/Yeezy bars). My birthday is finally here! I’m officially 24. Oh how I can’t wait to be 25 so I can have cheaper car insurance and not pay an extra feee to rent a car. The perks to look forward to. As I turn 24, I realize that I still have a lot of growing up to do. As I want to really enjoy my 20s, I can’t avoid and ignore wanting to be settled before I’m 30.
Looking back at 23, I wonder what it is that I’ve accomplished since I’m still at my same job, but this past year has not been a complete waste. I have found a new passion which comes in the form of planning. While planning is so much fun, it’s also become very therapeutic. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for the past 10 years and planning, along with ASMR videos, comfort me in some way. I’m calm and it’s just instant relaxation. Planning just puts me in another zone.
I started my MBA in Entrepreneurship online last July and I’ll be finished sometime next year. I’m not exactly where I want to be just yet, but I’ll get there.
Cheers to a new year, new opportunities, and new adventures!
I come across quotes all the time and they are the basis behind my Motivational Monday series. I know that I primarily blog music and that is what I love to do, but sharing my personal experiences is apart of the ‘Forward’ part of ‘MusicMovingForward.’ It’s beyond the music. This is growth for me. Growth for me as a person, writer, etc. I love looking back on my posts just to see how far I’ve come. I’ve come far in a lot of instances and if you look back on any of my ‘Motivational Monday’ posts and rants I share a lot about myself. I put my emotions out there because I know there’s someone who can relate. I know I’m not the only one. I used to hate being judged by others, but now I know it’s a way for others to knock me down and steer me off the path that I need to be on. It’s for others to make themselves feel better by breaking me down completely in the process. I used to be fragile and in some ways I still am. I am learning that in order for me to grow in any aspect of lie I have to always first and foremost love me and everything else will fall into place. You can’t continue to put your all into something if you’re not willing to put time in your own personal growth.
I’ve always been the one to think I’ve had it all figured out. I’ve always been the ultimate planner. A lot of that has to do with me not wanting to fail and me always wanting to have control. During my 22 years of life although I’m young I’ve experienced a lot, as have others my age. My biggest problem is always seeking validation. I seek validation from ones I love, ones who I think/thought loved me, and people I don’t even know. Throughout all this I say I’m my worst critic, but then again I’m just trying to impress others. I always want someone to like me, my work, etc. I always want to be ‘that person.’ You know, the people person, the popular one that everyone likes or at least claims to. This quote by Will Smith is spot on to situations I deal with daily in my life. I have to stop letting those that do nothing and I mean NOTHING validate my existence. I have to stop begging for love and in return love myself. There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to become a better me until I begin to love myself endlessly and tirelessly. You let a person treat you the way you allow them to. Having self love does not let that person break you. It does not let that person tear you down. You win and they lose. Their goal is to break you.
Here’s yet another quote that I love from Will Smith. I have a book filled with quotes that I love to refer to daily for a pick me up. Building on the quote above, people go out of their way to break you. I swear some people wake up and think of all the ways they can piss somebody off. People like that aren’t happy with themselves. I always hated when my grandmother said, ‘People that make you mad don’t love themselves.” I never understood it and I didn’t know why she had to be so extreme. What did love have to do with someone picking on you? What did love have to do with someone picking a fight with you?
As I’ve gotten older I start to realize that it is true. Someone who tries to break you sees something in you that’s intimidating. They’re not comfortable with themselves so they nitpick at you, tear you apart, and zone in on your flaws to break you. In reality, people like that aren’t happy within. They don’t love themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t give a crap about you and your life. There’s a difference between genuinely caring about someone and their aspirations versus trying to get close to someone just to rip them to shreds in the long run.With people like that all you can do is pray for them. It’s bigger than Karma. God will handle those who hurt you. You first have to make that step to believe he will and not feed into the craziness of others.
Thanks to all those who read this one. This is an issue I deal with daily, literally. If just one read this that makes all the difference. Until next time …