Motivational Monday | One Step at a Time

The East coast was hit with a blizzard over the weekend and I’m having a snow day from work. On Saturday when the blizzard hit, I had a neighbor that went out every few hours to shovel the snow. The snow was still falling, but he was out there like clock work shoveling. Sunday came and I went outside to the mounds of snow and I couldn’t help but think, how am I going to get this done.

No one ever got to the top of a mountain in one giant jump. Challenges can be overcome, and goals can be reached, but it can only happen one step at a time.

-Doe Zantamata

As a NJ native, we’re no stranger to snow, but the blizzard left nearly 2 feet. I started shoveling around 7am and as I stood in the middle of the path I couldn’t help but think, can I do this? All I could see it front of me was the obstacle of snow and I had just started. It looked like an impossible feat. After a while I began shoveling and I kept playing Jess Glynne’s ‘Hold My Hand’ over and over. As I moved throughout the snow I came to yet another obstacle, when will this be over.

In life you come across lots of snow. Some is soft and you can clear pretty fast then others may contain ice, weighing the snow down, and making it harder to plow through. Regardless of what obstacles come in your way, all it takes it one step. It might sound cliche with “one step at a time,” but it’s really all you need.

I could have gone out like my neighbor did, but I didn’t. I had to deal with the mound of snow to shovel through. It didn’t happen fast and it took longer than I wanted it to. That’s life. If everything was easy, what would you really learn from the journey? I took a step back as I was shoveling and just looked up and down my street at the snow that had accumulated. It was beautiful. It made me put life into perspective.

January is almost over and goals have been set for the year. Do not let obstacles deter you from accomplishing what you have set out to do. Do not let obstacles keep you from reaching your goals. Work with what you have, take it a step or shovel at a time, and plow through.

Happy Birthday To ME!

It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday  (finish 2 Chainz/Yeezy bars). My birthday is finally here! I’m officially 24. Oh how I can’t wait to be 25 so I can have cheaper car insurance and not pay an extra feee to rent a car. The perks to look forward to. As I turn 24, I realize that I still have a lot of growing up to do. As I want to really enjoy my 20s, I can’t avoid and ignore wanting to be settled before I’m 30.

Looking back at 23, I wonder what it is that I’ve accomplished since I’m still at my same job, but this past year has not been a complete waste. I have found a new passion which comes in the form of planning. While planning is so much fun, it’s also become very therapeutic. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for the past 10 years and planning, along with ASMR videos, comfort me in some way. I’m calm and it’s just instant relaxation. Planning just puts me in another zone.

I started my MBA in Entrepreneurship online last July and I’ll be finished sometime next year. I’m not exactly where I want to be just yet, but I’ll get there.

Cheers to a new year, new opportunities, and new adventures!

Motivational Monday (V.18): The REAL You

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There have been so many times that I have gone out of my way to buy something that someone else has or fix my hair a certain way because they did. When I look back that hairstyle didn’t work and what I bought, I never wore or used. It’s the impulsion of trying to keep up with those around me that I spend money that I really don’t have on things I do not ned. Is this the real human nature? Is this what life is cracked up to be? It’s nothing wrong with being different, but what is wrong is the constant judgement from others.

I look at other blogs, especially tabloid ones, and I look at what is written about celebrities and the comments that people leave. Granted, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it’s never okay to bash someone based off their income. It’s never ok to devalue a person based off your own personal insecurities. Yes, they’re in a position you’re not. You have the same opportunity to get there. Instead of complaining about what they’re doing, find your happiness. Worry about yourself. Stop trying to live vicariously through the pockets of others.

What people choose to do in life is what they choose to do. Whatever makes that person happy is their prerogative. People need to stop being worried about others are doing and find themselves. They have to find the happiness within. Talking and bringing down others is nothing but negativity and you will never prosper from that. Be who you are. Don’t gossip just because the next person is. Stay true to the person that you are and who you want to become, not who people expect you to be.

There will be doubters and naysayers that will do anything to see you fail. Again, that’s lack of self love within. When you truly learn to love yourself you’ll stop caring what others think and in turn uplift instead of downgrade. This is your life. You have to live with the decisions you make, not others. Do not be afraid to show the real you. If those around you can’t accept who you really are, it’s time to move on.

Note: Click HERE for previous Motivational Monday posts. 

Motivational Monday (V.17): 8 Things to Give Up

I came across this list on Instagram and as 2015 is right around the corner, literally, I had to do one more Motivational Monday before the year was over. This year for me has been a journey as I’ve changed platforms of my blog and created new content aside from music. While creating new content wasn’t that hard, it became a bit overwhelming as I took on the challenge to blog every single day. Well, I failed at that, BUT I will say I accomplished about 75% of that. My new adventure of grad school took over and between that and reviewing I but blogging on the back burner. In addition I had to part with my high school graduation present, my 2000 VW Jetta and I had to get a new car. I won’t lie, I was attached to my Jetta, but I knew that I couldn’t keep putting money into a lemon. With all the challenges I’ve faced this year they really are just adjustments to my life; adjustments to my usual routine. Enough of me rambling, let’s get into the list.

Screenshot_2014-12-20-14-02-03-1 When listing my flaws in each of these area’s I’ve grouped them into three categories.

  1. Doubt & Fear (#1, #3, #6, #7) I procrastinated entering grad school when I graduated undergrad in 2013 because I was unsure of what I wanted to do. I though that in a year I’d have it all figured out, but in reality I didn’t. I still don’t know exactly what my path is, but I have to act on my dreams instead of being afraid of whether I will succeed or not.
  2. Negativity (#2, #4, #5) There’s so much negativity in the world that as people we need not burden ourselves with negative talk. Whether it being bringing yourself down or bringing others down in an attempt to make yourself feel better. I plan to go into the new year with a more positive attitude. Try writing down a positive note a day whether it be a word or a couple sentences.
  3. People Pleasing (#8) This ties in both categories discussed above as people change who they are and who they want to be in fear of not being accepted by others. Just like it’s easy for you to bring someone down someone can do the same thing back to you when they are intimidated by the possibility of you achieving something they would not, could not, or did not. Stop trying to please others and work on being a better you. People that genuinely care for you and your future will stay. Those that don’t are just lessons that pass by.

To pretty much sum it up:

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I hope that I have been able to shed light on not only my personal experiences, but offer some advice along the way throughout my Motivational series here on the blog. Here’s to more in 2015. Catch up with previous posts by clicking HERE.

Motivational Monday (V.16): Life In My 20s

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As my 23rd birthday is a month away (10.15) this quote really speaks VOLUMES to me. All my life I’ve thought I had it figured out. Go to college and get a job so you can pay back all those who helped you. Better yet, prove all those people wrong that have always given you a side eye or made some smart remark about your life. Seeing my younger siblings grow up makes me feel old, but again I am only 23. I should not have to worry about what my house is going to be. I should not have to to think about kids names, the school they’ll go to, friends they’ll meet. My problem has always been planning every little detail of my life and unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to come to terms with letting things happen as they happen and to not be a stickler for perfection.

It makes me wonder why I’m not fully into my career. It makes me wonder why I went to college in the f first place. The perceived theory is that once you get a degree you automatically should have the ‘Gates of Employment’ opened to you. You should have that automatic job in the field you studied or something similar. Again, life doesn’t work that way.

Here I am working at a daycare center, trying to make ends meet, with a stack of loans. Aside from that I’ve taken on the trivial expenses of the unlimited cell phone plan, eating out with friends, and my new car. Well, I wouldn’t call the car trivial as I needed a new one as my 2000 VW Jetta had to be put to sleep. Before I further digress it makes me wonder just what am I doing with my life. A year post-graduation and I thought going back to school was what I needed to do. So here I am studying for my MBA with a specialization in Entrepreneurship.

If nothing else had made sense in my life I know that I am inspired by having something of my own. Some may call that always needing control or power, but I see it as no one knowing my vision except for me. Of course along the way I plan to collaborate with others which I have already begun to do. It’s great seeing others have a passion for what they do whether it’s the same interests as you or not.

As I am only 3 years into my 20s I can’t help but wonder and try to plan out the rest of my life, but for now I just focus on building my empire. I want to be able to publish books (fiction & self-help), a magazine, and really giving back. Aside from wanting a non-profit organization to raise awareness of lung cancer in memory of my mom, I want a one stop shop for youth and young adults to connect so that they’re not in the situation I’m in. People tell you all the time what to expect, but often the reality of life is sugar coated. I want to provide a place where people can build connections and jump start their careers and see that their is life in doing something you love and not settling for the corporate route. There’s life everywhere you turn and one should not be turned away from wanting to pursue higher education because of the fear of loans, etc.

While it’s great to think about my empire I also need to enjoy my life as there are people that have not lived to see 23 years. I cannot be more blessed and the greatest gift I could’ve ever received was creativity. To continuously make something out of nothing drives me daily. When it’s all over I want to look back and not be noticed for the amount of money, my losses, my degrees, but for me. I want to look back and know that I’ve helped people achieve their dreams as so many have helped me achieve mine. My 20s aren’t over, they’ve just begun.

 

Motivational (V.15): 10 Things I Learned From College

image-2A lot of people have gone back to school whether it be elementary, middle, or high school. Then there are those returning to college or just entering. I remember how excited and anxious I was to start college. It would be a new journey in my life and opposed to my other friends, I’d be going to a smaller school and commuting. My friends went to universities while I opted to go to a college. The difference between the two is that in a university you’re going to a school within a school. For example you get your degree from ‘X’ University from the School of ‘Y’ with a B.A. or B.S. In college you get your B.S. or B.A. from ‘X College’.

I knew what I wanted to do from the gate and the school that I went to would be smaller and I would be able to not just interact with my peers, but on a personal level with my professor. My major was English Communications-Broadcast Journalism. With the school I went to, the people in my major were in a majority of my class and the only thing that was a bit annoying was seeing the same people 3-4 days a week.

This post isn’t to complain about college it’s me sharing my personal experience to help at least one person. Here’s my 10 tips:

  1. Know what you want to study or at least have an idea. Be practical in what you want to study as this is what you want to start a career in. If you’re unsure try the 2-4 year route (Community College to College) then by the time you transfer you’ll be well in your major.
  2. Try not to switch schools. You’ll be in college longer because the credits from your previous school may not transfer. More time in college, more money.
  3. Don’t make early classes and then plot when you’re not going.
  4. GO TO CLASS! Absences are meant for emergencies not lounging around with friends on campus or finishing an assignment you waited to start the morning it was due.
  5. Read the material. Spark Notes is no longer your friend. Teachers pick material that hasn’t been reviewed.
  6. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH your FINANCIAL AID. Know the ins and outs of how much you’re receiving, any scholarships or grants available, the logistics of loans. Even if it means being a pest. Any out of pocket money is coming from YOUR pocket so know where the hell it’s going.
  7. If you need excess funds to buy things for school by all means take them. Just how you need to know the logistics of loans know that you have to pay every single penny you take back. Loans are not meant for a new wardrobe or Spring Break vacation with friends. If you can, return what you don’t need. You’ll thank yourself later.
  8. Skip the honors courses; jobs don’t care. As for minors, if you choose to pick up one do not pick it up halfway through your studies. Pick it up within the first or second semester of your freshman year.
  9. Don’t wait until the last minute to check if you can graduate. Constantly know what requirements you need.
  10. MAKE CONNECTIONS! Whether it be with your peers of your professors, network your ass off. Be sure to get internships as well and build connections there. The goal is a JOB after earning that DEGREE.

College is a great experience for all those that have the privilege to attend. While it’s not for everyone there are it’s perks to having it. It can be discouraging after graduating and not automatically going into your career, but continue to network and put yourself out there. Good luck to all those pursuing higher education.

Motivational Monday (V.14) — Self Love Pt. 2

I come across quotes all the time and they are the basis behind my Motivational Monday series. I know that I primarily blog music and that is what I love to do, but sharing my personal experiences is apart of the ‘Forward’ part of ‘MusicMovingForward.’ It’s beyond the music. This is growth for me. Growth for me as a person, writer, etc. I love looking back on my posts just to see how far I’ve come. I’ve come far in a lot of instances and if you look back on any of my ‘Motivational Monday’ posts and rants I share a lot about myself. I put my emotions out there because I know there’s someone who can relate. I know I’m not the only one. I used to hate being judged by others, but now I know it’s a way for others to knock me down and steer me off the path that I need to be on. It’s for others to make themselves feel better by breaking me down completely in the process. I used to be fragile and in some ways I still am. I am learning that in order for me to grow in any aspect of lie I have to always first and foremost love me and everything else will fall into place. You can’t continue to put your all into something if you’re not willing to put time in your own personal growth.

stop-letting-people-who-do-so-little-for-youI’ve always been the one to think I’ve had it all figured out. I’ve always been the ultimate planner. A lot of that has to do with me not wanting to fail and me always wanting to have control.  During my 22 years of life although I’m young I’ve experienced a lot, as have others my age. My biggest problem is always seeking validation. I seek validation from ones I love, ones who I think/thought loved me, and people I don’t even know. Throughout all this I say I’m my worst critic, but then again I’m just trying to impress others. I always want someone to like me, my work, etc. I always want to be ‘that person.’ You know, the people person, the popular one that everyone likes or at least claims to. This quote by Will Smith is spot on to situations I deal with daily in my life. I have to stop letting those that do nothing and I mean NOTHING validate my existence. I have to stop begging for love and in return love myself. There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to become a better me until I begin to love myself endlessly and tirelessly. You let a person treat you the way you allow them to. Having self love does not let that person break you. It does not let that person tear you down. You win and they lose. Their goal is to break you.

images-1Here’s yet another quote that I love from Will Smith. I have a book filled with quotes that I love to refer to daily for a pick me up. Building on the quote above, people go out of their way to break you. I swear some people wake up and think of all the ways they can piss somebody off. People like that aren’t happy with themselves. I always hated when my grandmother said, ‘People that make you mad don’t love themselves.” I never understood it and I didn’t know why she had to be so extreme. What did love have to do with someone picking on you? What did love have to do with someone picking a fight with you?

As I’ve gotten older I start to realize that it is true. Someone who tries to break you sees something in you that’s intimidating. They’re not comfortable with themselves so they nitpick at you, tear you apart, and zone in on your flaws to break you. In reality, people like that aren’t happy within. They don’t love themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t give a crap about you and your life. There’s a difference between genuinely caring about someone and their aspirations versus trying to get close to someone just to rip them to shreds in the long run.With people like that all you can do is pray for them. It’s bigger than Karma. God will handle those who hurt you. You first have to make that step to believe he will and not feed into the craziness of others.

Thanks to all those who read this one. This is an issue I deal with daily, literally. If just one read this that makes all the difference. Until next time …