Motivational Monday (V.17): 8 Things to Give Up

I came across this list on Instagram and as 2015 is right around the corner, literally, I had to do one more Motivational Monday before the year was over. This year for me has been a journey as I’ve changed platforms of my blog and created new content aside from music. While creating new content wasn’t that hard, it became a bit overwhelming as I took on the challenge to blog every single day. Well, I failed at that, BUT I will say I accomplished about 75% of that. My new adventure of grad school took over and between that and reviewing I but blogging on the back burner. In addition I had to part with my high school graduation present, my 2000 VW Jetta and I had to get a new car. I won’t lie, I was attached to my Jetta, but I knew that I couldn’t keep putting money into a lemon. With all the challenges I’ve faced this year they really are just adjustments to my life; adjustments to my usual routine. Enough of me rambling, let’s get into the list.

Screenshot_2014-12-20-14-02-03-1 When listing my flaws in each of these area’s I’ve grouped them into three categories.

  1. Doubt & Fear (#1, #3, #6, #7) I procrastinated entering grad school when I graduated undergrad in 2013 because I was unsure of what I wanted to do. I though that in a year I’d have it all figured out, but in reality I didn’t. I still don’t know exactly what my path is, but I have to act on my dreams instead of being afraid of whether I will succeed or not.
  2. Negativity (#2, #4, #5) There’s so much negativity in the world that as people we need not burden ourselves with negative talk. Whether it being bringing yourself down or bringing others down in an attempt to make yourself feel better. I plan to go into the new year with a more positive attitude. Try writing down a positive note a day whether it be a word or a couple sentences.
  3. People Pleasing (#8) This ties in both categories discussed above as people change who they are and who they want to be in fear of not being accepted by others. Just like it’s easy for you to bring someone down someone can do the same thing back to you when they are intimidated by the possibility of you achieving something they would not, could not, or did not. Stop trying to please others and work on being a better you. People that genuinely care for you and your future will stay. Those that don’t are just lessons that pass by.

To pretty much sum it up:

my-goal-for-2015-is-to-accomplish-the-goals-of-2014-which-i-should-have-done-in-2013-because-i-made-a-promise-to-myself-in-2012-to-do-what-i-had-planned-in-2011-3dbd9

I hope that I have been able to shed light on not only my personal experiences, but offer some advice along the way throughout my Motivational series here on the blog. Here’s to more in 2015. Catch up with previous posts by clicking HERE.

Splitsville: Why Celebrity Relationships Don’t Last

The world of a celebrity is a gratifying yet invasive lifestyle. It’s great to have people screaming and cheering your name, but there’s also no privacy at all. It’s clear with the latest leaking of celeb nude pics that there is no privacy, but that one just takes the cake. Social media has evolved into this world that sucks you in and you can’t get enough. Everyone has an opinion. People leave filthy comments to celebs whether it be on Twitter or Instagram. Everyone has something to say. That was one of the reasons of why I started my blog, to voice my opinion. There’s also a way to do it and not be malicious.

FullSizeRenderIn the latest of celeb breakups, one of my fav couples was rumored to be getting a divorce, Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose. I absolutely love the two of them together, but as much as I do I do not know their life. Fans and social media creepers know what is presented. They know what is glorified whether it be Wiz in a picture with a bong or another chick or Amber twerking. There’s always something wrong, always. Well as much as I hate for them to be over, Amber did release a statement via Twitter confirming that the TMZ rumors were true.

This leads to the topic and question, why can’t celebrity relationships last? There are two types of extremes of the relationships. There are the ones that get together really fast and they either take the step of getting married or they can’t get past the engagement before breaking up. Then there are those that stay together for 10+ years before breaking up. For instance, take Kris and Bruce Jenner. Most might say that the power and fame of KUWTK is what drove the two apart, but again we don’t know their lives. They could’ve been headed for divorce ages ago, but now that their youngest Kylie is 17 and she’s old enough to understand, they could just be going their separate ways.

As for the couples that get together without getting to really know each other is what baffles me. No, it’s true, we (as in social media stalkers) might not know how long people have known each other. Take Ciara and Future, he stated in an interview with Wendy Williams that they had met years ago, he just never pursued. Now here it is they have a gorgeous son, they were engaged, now they’re not engaged, they’re working things out. Who the hell knows.

Then you can take Tyga and his baby mother/ex-fiance, Blac Chyna. I though there relationship was cute, but when you look at how long they had known each other, along with how young each of them are, it’s no surprise that they’re no longer together. To make that situation any stickier they’re linking Tyga to Kylie Jenner and it’s even shadier if that story were true as Chyna & Kim K are “friends”.

Moving on and getting back to the question, it really all boils down to TIME spent together. I think in order for a relationship to grow and flourish there needs to be a strong foundation before jumping into marriage or kids. yes, there are relationships that have lasted with getting to know each other along the way, but Hollywood divorce has a track record. Does anything really last? Granted, blogs add fuel to the fire, but time is of the essence and these celebs do not waste time shacking up.

Putting time aside, fame and power really switch up a person and can turn a relationship that was great into something else. Take Robin Thicke & Paula Patton. They had been together since they were teenagers and while Robin was doing pretty well in the music scene, ‘Blurred Lines’ took it to another level. I knew that the ship was about to sink after that scandalous performance with Miley Cyrus at the 2013 VMAs. With success comes more time on the road, more exposure, and it can change a person. Look at Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo. This is another case of fame possibly being taken to the head as Jason Derulo has been riding high with the success of ‘Talk Dirty’ and ‘Wiggle’.It was just announced that the two had broken up after 3 years of what the public deemed, pure bliss. They were just coupled up at the VMAs, but again WE DON’T KNOW (Kanye voice) their lives.

Hopefully fans will stop gawking over these celebrities and thinking that everything is perfect. The only thing a celebrity has over the next person is a bigger connect and (depending on who the celeb is) an even larger income. Other than that they’re regular people. Regular people love and leave on a daily basis. No surprise celebs do too.

Motivational Monday (V.16): Life In My 20s

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As my 23rd birthday is a month away (10.15) this quote really speaks VOLUMES to me. All my life I’ve thought I had it figured out. Go to college and get a job so you can pay back all those who helped you. Better yet, prove all those people wrong that have always given you a side eye or made some smart remark about your life. Seeing my younger siblings grow up makes me feel old, but again I am only 23. I should not have to worry about what my house is going to be. I should not have to to think about kids names, the school they’ll go to, friends they’ll meet. My problem has always been planning every little detail of my life and unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to come to terms with letting things happen as they happen and to not be a stickler for perfection.

It makes me wonder why I’m not fully into my career. It makes me wonder why I went to college in the f first place. The perceived theory is that once you get a degree you automatically should have the ‘Gates of Employment’ opened to you. You should have that automatic job in the field you studied or something similar. Again, life doesn’t work that way.

Here I am working at a daycare center, trying to make ends meet, with a stack of loans. Aside from that I’ve taken on the trivial expenses of the unlimited cell phone plan, eating out with friends, and my new car. Well, I wouldn’t call the car trivial as I needed a new one as my 2000 VW Jetta had to be put to sleep. Before I further digress it makes me wonder just what am I doing with my life. A year post-graduation and I thought going back to school was what I needed to do. So here I am studying for my MBA with a specialization in Entrepreneurship.

If nothing else had made sense in my life I know that I am inspired by having something of my own. Some may call that always needing control or power, but I see it as no one knowing my vision except for me. Of course along the way I plan to collaborate with others which I have already begun to do. It’s great seeing others have a passion for what they do whether it’s the same interests as you or not.

As I am only 3 years into my 20s I can’t help but wonder and try to plan out the rest of my life, but for now I just focus on building my empire. I want to be able to publish books (fiction & self-help), a magazine, and really giving back. Aside from wanting a non-profit organization to raise awareness of lung cancer in memory of my mom, I want a one stop shop for youth and young adults to connect so that they’re not in the situation I’m in. People tell you all the time what to expect, but often the reality of life is sugar coated. I want to provide a place where people can build connections and jump start their careers and see that their is life in doing something you love and not settling for the corporate route. There’s life everywhere you turn and one should not be turned away from wanting to pursue higher education because of the fear of loans, etc.

While it’s great to think about my empire I also need to enjoy my life as there are people that have not lived to see 23 years. I cannot be more blessed and the greatest gift I could’ve ever received was creativity. To continuously make something out of nothing drives me daily. When it’s all over I want to look back and not be noticed for the amount of money, my losses, my degrees, but for me. I want to look back and know that I’ve helped people achieve their dreams as so many have helped me achieve mine. My 20s aren’t over, they’ve just begun.

 

Motivational Monday (V.14) — Self Love Pt. 2

I come across quotes all the time and they are the basis behind my Motivational Monday series. I know that I primarily blog music and that is what I love to do, but sharing my personal experiences is apart of the ‘Forward’ part of ‘MusicMovingForward.’ It’s beyond the music. This is growth for me. Growth for me as a person, writer, etc. I love looking back on my posts just to see how far I’ve come. I’ve come far in a lot of instances and if you look back on any of my ‘Motivational Monday’ posts and rants I share a lot about myself. I put my emotions out there because I know there’s someone who can relate. I know I’m not the only one. I used to hate being judged by others, but now I know it’s a way for others to knock me down and steer me off the path that I need to be on. It’s for others to make themselves feel better by breaking me down completely in the process. I used to be fragile and in some ways I still am. I am learning that in order for me to grow in any aspect of lie I have to always first and foremost love me and everything else will fall into place. You can’t continue to put your all into something if you’re not willing to put time in your own personal growth.

stop-letting-people-who-do-so-little-for-youI’ve always been the one to think I’ve had it all figured out. I’ve always been the ultimate planner. A lot of that has to do with me not wanting to fail and me always wanting to have control.  During my 22 years of life although I’m young I’ve experienced a lot, as have others my age. My biggest problem is always seeking validation. I seek validation from ones I love, ones who I think/thought loved me, and people I don’t even know. Throughout all this I say I’m my worst critic, but then again I’m just trying to impress others. I always want someone to like me, my work, etc. I always want to be ‘that person.’ You know, the people person, the popular one that everyone likes or at least claims to. This quote by Will Smith is spot on to situations I deal with daily in my life. I have to stop letting those that do nothing and I mean NOTHING validate my existence. I have to stop begging for love and in return love myself. There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to become a better me until I begin to love myself endlessly and tirelessly. You let a person treat you the way you allow them to. Having self love does not let that person break you. It does not let that person tear you down. You win and they lose. Their goal is to break you.

images-1Here’s yet another quote that I love from Will Smith. I have a book filled with quotes that I love to refer to daily for a pick me up. Building on the quote above, people go out of their way to break you. I swear some people wake up and think of all the ways they can piss somebody off. People like that aren’t happy with themselves. I always hated when my grandmother said, ‘People that make you mad don’t love themselves.” I never understood it and I didn’t know why she had to be so extreme. What did love have to do with someone picking on you? What did love have to do with someone picking a fight with you?

As I’ve gotten older I start to realize that it is true. Someone who tries to break you sees something in you that’s intimidating. They’re not comfortable with themselves so they nitpick at you, tear you apart, and zone in on your flaws to break you. In reality, people like that aren’t happy within. They don’t love themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t give a crap about you and your life. There’s a difference between genuinely caring about someone and their aspirations versus trying to get close to someone just to rip them to shreds in the long run.With people like that all you can do is pray for them. It’s bigger than Karma. God will handle those who hurt you. You first have to make that step to believe he will and not feed into the craziness of others.

Thanks to all those who read this one. This is an issue I deal with daily, literally. If just one read this that makes all the difference. Until next time …

Motivational Monday (V.13): Making Dreams Come True

I started grad school last week (7.15) and I was extremely nervous yet excited to take the next step in making my dreams a reality. I talked all about stepping out of my comfort zone in a previous Motivational Monday titled ‘Taking Risks’ along with feeling overwhelmed in my post titled,  This one is a continuation of that the only difference is that I’m one step closer. Sometimes I wake up and I just want to quit my job, not because I don’t like it, but because I want to try something different. Although when achieving your dreams it’s all about taking chances and risks, I still have to be practical because I have bills to pay. One day I’ll be able to start my empire, one day soon. Jim Carrey gave a commencement speech for Maharishi University of Management and there were so many things that stood out to me from it, here are two in particular:

So many of us choose our path our of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it.

Every time I have wanted to begin on building my empire I would get scared of the process even though I knew it wouldn’t happen over night. I intimidated myself and would psych myself out to think that I didn’t need to go after my dreams yet. I would have time. It wasn’t practical. I don’t have the money. I kept making excuses when all those excuses were just fears. Fear of failure. Fear of whatever I built not being accepted. I am 22 years old, 23 in October, and I know that I need to put my dreams into action now. It’s going to be a journey, but I can’t keep making excuses because I’m too afraid to take chances.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.

I love my job because I love working with kids. They’re filled with personality out of this world at such young ages. My job is what’s comfortable and although I’m content I shouldn’t just settle because it’s paying the bills. I shouldn’t have to put my dreams on hold because I’m afraid. I have NOTHING to lose. Let the journey begin.

Motivational Monday (V.12): Dealing With Being Overwhelmed

As I start grad school tomorrow [7.15] I am extremely overwhelmed, to be honest, with everything that’s on my plate. With being a daily blogger and not having a demanding online schooling schedule I automatically felt like I would have to scale back in some aspect. Unfortunately the thing I’d have to scale back on would be my blog. Just when I though that I could work everything out I made out a schedule which just added to the feeling of being overwhelmed. Plus, let’s not even talk my social life. That wasn’t even included.

There’s no way I can scale back in my blogging because I love it so much. When concepts come effortlessly how can I stop that. School has become more of a priority than my blog, which it should, but unlike in undergrad I can handle both. I know that in undergrad I would go months without blogging because school was “in the way”. In essence I really could’ve juggled both, procrastination just got in the way.

Well it’s been a year since I graduated undergrad and I have been blogging daily for the past six months and I appreciate all the likes, feedback, etc. that I’ve gotten on my blog. I have found a way to juggle both, plus my social life.

So enough of my ranting. Here’s my top 3 tips to deal with being overwhelmed:

  1. Relax. Do not bombard yourself with thoughts of everything you have to do. That quickly leads to stress and by being overwhelmed by those thoughts you want to do nothing and end up making excuses for what you  need to do.
  2. Make a schedule. When you are bombarded with those thoughts make a list, schedule, whatever you need to do to check off what you need to do. Don’t forget to prioritize!
  3. Take life day by day. Of course there will be days where you have more on your plate than others, but in prioritizing you’ll realize that not everything can be done in one day. Take your time.

I know I’ll end up getting overwhelmed again, but hey that’s life. Right? Just stay focused on your goals and most of all RELAX!

Motivational Monday (V.11): Role v. Real

There’s no denying just how philosophical Tupac was. Everything he said had such a deep meaning that it made you think. I read and listen to his interviews all the time and one of the interviews that stands out to me was an interview in 1992 with MTV when he discussed not wanting to be tied to the term ‘role model’ and instead just being real. Hence why this weeks Motivational Monday is titled, ‘Role v. Real’.

“I say I don’t want to be a role model in the song, because if I let somebody put the role-model label on me, that limits me. Because look at those words, ‘role’ and ‘model.’ Both of those are fake words, to play a role and to model, that’s fake. I’m real. Being real, I drink, I hang out, I party — I do things that a 21-year-old does. And even worse, because I didn’t have a childhood, I’m reliving my childhood. I live life to its fullest, I make mistakes, but I do some stuff that some college kids wouldn’t do, because I live from my heart. I have fun. I don’t want to be a role model, I just want to be real.”

 

Everyone strives to be a role model because it’s what you’re supposed to do. Well, that’s what society tells you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to inspire, motivate, and influence the mind of others, but the problem comes in when you’re not staying true to yourself. The problem comes in when the term ‘role model’ casts over who you really are and you begin to live a double life. One is the role model in which you displayed and then the one of who you really are. The real you would never get the chance to shine as you are keeping up the facade of the role model everyone expects you to be.

It all comes down to never diminishing who you are and your attributes to continuously please others. You cannot be an inspiration to others if you cannot stay true to yourself. I never thought of the words ‘role’ and ‘model’ being fake until I heard this interview. This is what I’m talking about as far as thinking deeper into what Tupac was saying. If you cannot stay true to yourself, how are you supposed to tell someone to do the same? There are a lot of role models and then there are people that are just real.

I want to strive to be me. If I help and inspire someone along the way fine. In becoming a role model you end up conforming to the expectations of others instead of your own. Work on continuously becoming a better you. All those inspired by you will then follow suit.