For the second time in less than a year I find myself unemployed. In July of 2016 I quit my job at a daycare that I had been at for 6 years. I went on to finish and gain my MBA in Marketing that August, and by September I was in a new role. While the role was not full-time, it was a step in the right direction and I was able to put my Masters to use. Although I was offered the ‘potential’ of a full-time position in this role in January as fate would have it, a job I loved was not my destiny. So here I am, back to the drawing board. What’s next?
There are different obstacles that we’ll face in life. I, like many others, have gone through plenty of trials and tribulations. Sometimes I feel that when something is going good, here comes something devastating right behind it. I was comfortable in this position. I was getting my bearings in this position. I enjoyed the people who I was working with. The atmosphere was different. Although the pay and part-time position was not my first choice, the pros of being close to the job and loving what I do outweighed the cons.
To be laid off from a job with no warning is a feeling that I do not wish on anyone. In this situation, I can say it’s bittersweet. It was a situation of empty promises and hope to where I could have moved on sooner rather than later. To be strung along without any updates can be frustrating. You are doing a job with hopes of the tomorrow, and the next day, no maybe the day after that, or next week being told that you’re being promoted to full-time. Yeah, that never happened.
After I was told there was no future for me, I went back to my desk with my heart pounding, a headache starting to kick in, and the feeling of ‘Oh my god!’ I didn’t have a backup plan. I was holding out in hopes that this full-time position would come into fruition. I was offered the opportunity to sat until the end of May, but there was nothing else that could be done after that. I had initially accepted the offer of staying being that I didn’t have a backup plan. I didn’t have anywhere else to go and I was thinking financially that I could use the extra money. That was my initial reaction.
I didn’t cry during this impromptu meeting. I say impromptu as it wasn’t planned, but then again, who does plan that out. It was a, “Hey Lakia, can I talk to you for a few minutes?” I was thinking in my head, “This could be it! This could be what you’ve been waiting for!” It was ‘it’ alright.
I cried when I got into my car. I cried for various reasons. For one, a position that I enjoyed abruptly came to an end. Two, I did not have a backup plan. Three, seriously, what’s next. It wasn’t an all out sob. It was a cry out of pure frustration. Then I stopped. I thought it over. Something in me just clicked to let it go and move on. I remember telling my grandmother and she just said to me, pray. She also suggested that I leave immediately instead of waiting around for an extra paycheck.
Once my mind is made up, that’s it. I felt a calming over me that everything would be okay. I didn’t question it. I let the Lord guide my steps. I did leave immediately the next day. I has been suffering from migraines off and on a little too regularly over the past month. My body really does show signs when something big is about to happen. Well, getting laid of was pretty big. When I walked out that door for the last time, it was like a wait was lifted off my shoulders. I felt light. I didn’t feel the depression/anxiety that I had been struggling with similar to one of the reasons why I had to leave the daycare. Although the situation was comfortable, there was no future for me there.
Do I take this situation personally, no. Business is business. Budgets are budgets. Corporate is corporate. In my mind I just wish I was never offered this way it wouldn’t been as frustrating. I would’ve know where I stood as a part-timer.
So, let’s get back to my original question, what’s next? Thankfully I have opportunities that I can pursue so I doubt I’ll be down long. I can say that unlike when I left the daycare, I’m not worried about what’s next. I am so mellow and confident in myself which is a feeling I’ve never really felt before. It’s a feeling of peace and contentment. I tend to let my anxiety take over which only results in migraines and tears. I feel a difference in myself, in my heart, and in my mind. I know that there will be a next that I can excel in and I’m ready for it.
If God is making you wait, be prepared to receive more than what you asked for.
