Welcome to another Motivational Monday. I wanted to get through my Dealing With Depression series, so here’s part 2. Part 1 focus on Positive Thinking. This edition is all about comparison whether it’s comparison to others or comparison within ourselves.
I graduated from college in 2013 and it’s been quite the struggle trying to dive into my career. I received my B.A. in English Communications-Broadcast Journalism. This past August I received my MBA in Marketing. Still in all, I’m not where I want to be in my career. I look at those that have graduated around the same time as me and I can’t help but sometimes wonder, why isn’t that me?
We compare our weaknesses with their strengths. We forget that those people may be weak in areas where we are strong. We try to motivate ourselves through self-criticism and condemnation.
I’m great at a lot of things. Some of those I do not even give myself credit for. There’s plenty of times that I fixate on my flaws instead of admiring what I have accomplished. I have both my Bachelors and Masters and education means a lot to me. Why diminish my achievements because I haven’t hit the fast lane? Why ignore my current success?
My depression and anxiety go hand in hand. Sometimes my anxiety is so bad to the point where I sleep off how I feel or lay in bed for hours on end. It’s debilitating. Then again, that’s just ‘adulting,’ right? The feelings I have inside go beyond that. Sometimes it is a constant struggle to balance how I feel just to get through the day. Some days are easier than others. Some days I can be flying high and proud and others I feel like I’m in a bottomless pit.
For instance, right now, at this very moment, I am struggling between pushing through my to do list versus laying in bed and watching Netflix. No, I’m not tired. I haven’t done anything to really be exhausted, but my mind and body speak otherwise. You may be thinking, what the hell does this have to do with comparing myself to others? Well, a lot.
I look at where other people are and the people that I encounter. Networking is great, it’s essential in any business. Yet, I feel stuck and awkward when I do. The thought of interacting with people at times gives me anxiety. When I’m asked to go places sometimes I make excuses other times it’s an outright no. I’m completely different with those that know me versus those that do not. People are so quick to judge and I’ve noticed that I alter my personality just to make it through the encounter.
Is there anything wrong with me? No, I mean other than some people thinking I’m lame for my lack of social interaction. My anxiety puts me in that depressive state that I try to fight through so much. It’s a never ending balancing act that sometimes I’m successful at defeating and other times I’m not. At this point in my life as I;m
Comparing myself to what other people have done cannot replace what I have succeeded at. All comparisons do is keep you in that pit. They’re made to keep you down. You’re self-destructing when you compare what you don’t have to what others do. If it were meant for you to have it you would.
I’m just as smart. I’m just as bright. I have the same 24 hours in a day that they do. Although I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety, it cannot continuously be a crutch. It cannot continuously be an excuse. Is it a part of my life, yes. Does it have to BE my life, no.