Sound Off: “I Had Him First”

I haven’t done a Sound Off in quite some time, but I don’t want this series to be ignored on the blog. The Sound Off series is all about a wide range of issues I want to address and spark conversation. Warning: These are my views and I would love to hear yours in the comments below. This is not censored or filtered so if it that’s what you’re into, this series isn’t for you.

After watching the Love and Hip Hop: New York reunion, I still can’t get over the love triangle, more like bullsh*t,  between Peter Gunz, Tara, and Amina. There’s a lot of things in the reunion show that made me want to jump through through the TV, but this triangle couldn’t be passed up.

For those that do not watch the show, Peter was initially with Tara and they had been together for quite some time, and had two beautiful boys. When they came on to the show their relationship was clear. Peter began working with an artist by the name of Amina Buddafly which led to him cheating on Tara, getting Amina pregnant, and marrying her. Surprise, surprise. I could only imagine how Tara felt to not only be cheated on, but to have her man marry someone else.

From episodes thereafter, and from pictures, it seemed the ladies were able to coexist in the same space. Wishful thinking. Tara ended up moving into the same apartment complex as Peter and Amina so Peter could be closer to the boys. Now Tara knew what she was doing when she moved there. She knew that the chemistry never died between her and Peter and while she’d like to play Toni Braxton’s ‘He Wasn’t Man Enough,’ she could never.

Peter would tell Amina he was spending time with the boys when he was really with Tara. By the mid- season Tara announced she was pregnant, but so was  Amina. Amina ended up terminating her pregnancy.

Anywho, it was announced at the reunion show that Peter had a vasectomy and the host wanted to know how Tara felt about carrying Peter’s last child. Before she could comment, Amina announced that she was pregnant again. All about shots fired and the look on Tara’s face was priceless. Not on,y did Amina say she was pregnant she stood her ass up like, “B*tch you thought.”  Here Tara was riding high and ready to respond, but Amina was waiting, WAITING, for her moment for life.

Situations like these are far too common. Why must women fight each other over a man? How does the fight brew between them instead of teaming up on him? The pettiness doesn’t stop the, from looking dumb. They could look cool in the pictures, but it’s really all a facade. How can Peter be praised for having his wife and baby mother in the same building, flip flopping between the two, yet Tara and Amina end up looking like fools? He played both of them yet the battle boils down to “I had him first” versus “Well, he married me.”

Why must one feel superior over the other? One may have the ring and the other may have time on her side, but he’s still flip flopping because he supposedly “can’t choose.”

Amina can rant and rave all she wants about that being her husband, but he still acts like a single man. Amina also called Tara a mistress, but at one point she was the mistress. The battle between the two of them all goes back to Peter, what he did wrong, and how he continued to do them dirty.

Getting back to the reunion show, Tara seemed to be happy to have one over Amina being that she assumed she was having Peter’s last child. It was something that she would always have over Amina regardless of Amina being his wife. To see Amina stand up showing off her baby bump, if Tara wasn’t pregnant her head would’ve started spinning. Point for Amina. I’m pretty sure those two are keeping count over who shuts who down.

Peter was able to fade to the back while Tara and Amina went at each other. Not once did they join together and attack Peter it was all about bringing the other down and having the last word. His excuse? He has a “problem.”

A man does what he is allowed to do. If he gets away with cheating, he’ll continue to do it. Was Amina the only woman Peter cheated on Tara with? Why should he stop if he can just give her a sob story and although she may be upset at the time, she takes him back. She always takes him back. If asked why she did, she’ll have an excuse ready and rehearsed.

This happens all the time on social media and it’s all over the blogs. Baby mothers go back and forth with each other over who had him first. Usually the “other” girl knew about his “main” chick. Regardless of whether the female knew or not, he made the conscious decision to step out, but in this society that’s what’s “cool.” If a female were to be like Peter and have a baby with one dude, married to another, yet sleeping with them both, she’d automatically be called a hoe. Yet a man is “the man.”

Amina says she’s done with the relationship, but is she really serious? As long as Tara is still in the picture she’s not going anywhere and vice versa. Yeah they have kids by him, but the beef between them, as Cardi B said, will be FOREVA.

Ultimately, I hope that both Tara and Amina will be able to get along for the sake of the children because they are half siblings.


2 thoughts on “Sound Off: “I Had Him First”

  1. SOOOOO on the money with this blog. I honestly don’t understand why women like Tara and Amina make such fools of themselves for men. All the men in the world but you fight for that one…. Peter doesn’t love himself, how could he love anyone else?

    1. Thanks so much for commenting and I could not agree more. There are a lot of Tara’s and Amina’s in this world that stick around. I just don’t get how they continue to fight each other as the man sits back like its nothing.

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